Angel’s Cats was updated last night- with posts about 5 week old Turk and his little sister, Diva…

Angel’s Weddings was updated today with an interview of photographer, Byron Rode…

And The Cupcake Lady has a whole lot of new cupcake posts for you to drool over!!!

This week’s challenge from Female2Female is a 10 things list!

Any ten things!

10 things to do before you die. 10 of your favourite books or movies. 10 of your favourite chocolates. 10 reasons to love Johnny Depp! 10 reasons you think Facebook applications are from the devil.

Anything!

And I didn’t know where to start…

I decided to go with 10 things I am busy with right now! And trust me, it’s not only for your entertainment but for me to keep track of too!!

1. I’m doing a certificate in Advanced Wedding Planning with SA School of Weddings. It’s a once a week class and it finishes at the beginning of June. It’s a shite load of work, and I am thoroughly enjoying it… but its more than a little daunting being in a class with 20 other women who- for the most part- are better qualified and more experienced than I am.
2. I have an assignment for the course that I have to work on a little every day; else I won’t complete it on time! I have to plan a wedding- every single little detail- from start to finish!!
3. I am planning mine and my Glugster’s wedding for July 24^th! It’s so much fun and I have SOOO many ideas! You can read more about it here if you’d like to.
4. I am preparing to adopt an orange point kitten, who we have already named “Turk”! He and two litter mates was born to Shebee’s Seasea just over 5 weeks ago. You can see pictures of him, and my first blog posts about him here.
5. I am researching and writing a few blog posts on ADHD, including one about how the knucklehead is doing and how things have changed since I took him out of school- as requested by loyal-reader-Julia.
6. I have cupcake orders to schedule! The biggest is for 200!! It’s so exciting, and I love that the people who order my cupcakes are so happy with them! I never expected something I had so much fun doing to turn into a little business!!
7. I am planning I was planning my mommy darling’s surprise birthday party- along with my siblings- and with one email I shot all our weeks of planning and secrecy to hell! I mailed my sisters and my mommy darling with the menus for our chosen restaurant- instead of mailing my sisters and da Bruvva!!
8. I am working to lose weight so that I can look svelte and sylphlike on my wedding day. Okay, maybe not svelte… but at least not chunky! This process involves trying to get to the gym at least twice a week, and failing miserably! I am dieting, which is going fairly well, and my sweetheart and I have a dancing lesson once a week which is awesome exercise… but I SO need to exercise more. And I need to stop dreaming about bread sticks and pasta.
9. I’m forcing myself to come to terms with several things about myself. It’s a long process, and I have to work on it every day, but I am making progress.
10. And last but not least, I am still working my regular 8-4 job, the one I get paid my salary for!!

Is that even possible?

I think I did blog here about being nominated by friends and family for a Feather Award in their “Heroine” category? I was nominated for my “work” in creating awareness of ADHD and supporting parents who are raising ADHDers. In all honesty, I didn’t ever think it was something deserving of an award! Its quite mind blowing!

The latest news is that I got an email on the February 9^th notifying me that I am now a semi-finalist, and I had an electronic interview to do. It was no small task answering their questions, I had to think long and hard- and I only had 3 days to do so!

My stomach started doing back flips as soon as I read the opening lines of the email…

“Congratulations!

You have been selected as a semi-finalist.”

I was quite flabbergasted! The other nominees in my category are such incredibly brave and inspiring women and I never expected to get a nomination let alone get to the next round!

Anyhoodle, if you’d like to read it you can find my “profile” and my interview if you click here, it includes the nomination justification as well as my own motivation.

You can’t vote for me as the process is judged by a panel of four women who are extraordinary in their own right- and you can find them on the website as well- but you can leave a comment about me on their Facebook page if you’d like to.

Thank you to anyone and everyone who had a hand in this.

 This is a meme- the very foundation of the blogosphere. You can find more of them done by Pink Hair Girl, Jessica Giggles, Stumbling Ani, Harassed Mom & Lettice & Lu!

1. Last beverage? A cup of strong decaf, and I know that’s an oxymoron- but I’m sure you know what I mean.

2. Last phone call? To an friend and someone who used to be my boss.

3. Last kiss? This morning when I kissed my sweetheart goodbye.

4. Last song you listened to? I listen to music all the time, so the last song was Spin Doctors’ “Two Princes”. By the end of the meme it’ll be several songs.

5. Last time you cried? Erm… Monday morning when I got a text from a friend telling me she was pregnant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice? Yup. Against my better judgment and breaking my own rules.

7. Been cheated on? Oh yes- by the same jerk I dated twice!

8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Many times.

9. Lost someone special? Of course. You’re not human if you haven’t.

10. Been depressed? Yup- I was on happy pills for quite some time.

11. Been high? *coff coff* yes *coff*

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple

13. Red

14. Silver (and yes, I know it’s not technically a colour)

THIS YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Have you made new friends this year? I have actually met a few people I didn’t know before… but no new friends yet.

16. Fallen out of love? Nope!

17. Laughed until you cried? Not this year yet, no, heh heh.

18. Met someone who changed you? Not yet…

19. Found out who your true friends were? Thankfully I have not yet been in a situation where that may be necessary.

20. Found out someone was talking about you? Oh I know people talk about me all the time, LOL!!

21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list? Okay, I’ve seen this before, so can someone please tell me fot the wuck a “top friends list” is!??!

TRUTH:

23. How many kids do you want to have? Cute as they are, I truly don’t know if my garden is big enough for goats…

24. Do you have any pets? I have 3 cats- soon to be 4 cats- a fiancé and an almost adult son!

25. Do you want to change your name? I’ll be changing my surname when I get married in July, but I am quite happy with my first name.

26. What did you do for your last birthday? I had a HUGE party at my house with friends and family and I was spoilt rotten!! I’ve never had so many people at my house at one time and it was quite spectacular!

27. What time did you wake up today? 5h45!! And then I snoozed till 6h05

28. What were you doing at midnight last night? Erm… ahem. I was, err, watching TV after having showered late *wink*

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for? Only one!??! Okay, I’ll have to say it’s our wedding in July.

30. Last time you saw your father? We popped in on Valentines Day after dropping one of the knucklehead’s friends at home.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I wish I could be working for myself, from home- baking cupcakes and planning weddings.

32. What are you listening to right now? Ozzy Osbourne “Running Out Of Time”, clients office doors opening and closing, papers rustling, people talking in the passage, laughter, my colleagues talking… shall I go on? I hear everything all the time!

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yup! I had a Sunday school teacher named Tom, and there was once a blogger named Tom… *smile*

34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? The fact that I have to share a too-small office every day- sometimes with up to 10 other people! I have nicknamed the one “Grumpy” and another one “Nosey”.

36. What’s your real name? The Cupcake Lady *big smile*

37. Relationship Status? I am engaged to the most incredible-generous-loving-witty-sexy-intelligent-patient man.

38. Zodiac sign? Capricorn

39. Male or female? Male or female what? I’m a chick, my fiancé is a dude, my son is a dude… our cats are males…

40. Primary School? Seven years of it at two different ones- one of the schools was the same one my daddy darling went to!

41. High School? I did four years before I was asked to leave because I was starting to show *evil grin* and it was the same one my parents went to and where they met.

43. Hair colour? At the moment it’s a dark auburn… but my grey is showing so I need to do something with it soon!

44. Long or short? My mean hair, right? Its long. *smirk*

45. Height? 1200 feet. Oh, as in mine? 1.64M. I actually always thought I was kinda short, and then I met a whole bunch of incredible women with amazing blogs who were substantially shorter than me!

46. Do you have a crush on someone? On my Glugster of course!

47. What do you like about yourself? Rather a lot I think… I have great legs, I can sing a little, I prize my personal integrity very highly, I can teach people and share knowledge…

48. Piercings? Only my ears, and I doubt I’ll ever pierce anything ever again!

49. Tattoos? 7 of them! And that’s only the beginning!

50. Righty or lefty? Righty!

FIRSTS:

51. First surgery? I think I was 22 when I had all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth extracted under general anesthetic.

52. First piercing? I was in grade 7 when I pierced my ears the first time, but they never healed. Then I think I was 33 when I pierced my ears again… they took ages to heal!

53. First tattoo? I can’t remember exactly, I think I was 24. The knucklehead went with me and watched as the artist did the dragon on my left upper arm, and he quizzed the artist about his many tattoos the entire time.

54. First best friend? Was my BBF Gen, and she is still my best friend! From when we realised we were friends, we lived near each other. At one point our houses were counter-corner and we would stand on chairs and chat over the wall to each other. Once we even lived in the same block of flats!! Now she lives in Oz with her family, and we only talk once a week.

I miss her lots.

55. First sport? Erm… does roller-skating count? I never really did any sport. At school we were forced to take part in athletics for the sake of taking part, and I did some discus occasionally- but my boobs always got in the way of everything. And I dislike cold water so swimming was not an option.

56. First pet? I remember having a hamster… and we had a few family pets when I was growing up but I only had my own pets when I was a grown up and living in my own flat. Then I had an albino pet rat name Loopy! This was of course before I got my precious furabies.

57. First vacation? We had lots of family holidays, and Damien and I had a few trips away where we stayed with family- just to get away from home and work and school and all- but mine and Damien’s first holiday was to a lodge with dinner, bed and breakfast at St Michaels On Sea. I could only afford to get lunch for the knucklehead, but he was in his element! We were on the beach all day every day!

58. First concert? Erm… I went to a thing at Centurion Cricket Grounds when I was seeing the knucklehead’s father, and I can remember seeing Steve Hofmeyer on stage, and even then I remember he was a wanker… but my first real concert was Alanis Morisette at the Dome! Someone who worked with my mother had a sister who had a friend who had tickets- but they needed a ride to the dome, which was where I came in! The concert was very cool, though it would probably have been 100% cooler if I had been there with friends.

59. First crush? In primary school I had a huge crush on a guy named Anthony. We were boyfriend and girlfriend briefly… but I think I was in grade 4 so it wasn’t going anywhere. We stayed friends though.

60. First alcohol drink? I was 14, I spent the weekend with my cousin, and her mother allowed her to go to clubs which my parents didn’t allow me to do. Can you see where I’m going with this? We ended up in a club that was having a special themed night and the drinks were free! I have never again been able to drink tequila like I did that night…

RIGHT NOW:

61. Eating? Cashew nuts

62. Drinking? Water

63. I’m about to? Pack up my laptop and go home

64. Listening to? Zen Arcade “Take Out The Trash”

65. Waiting for? 4PM *smirk*

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OTHER SEX?

69. Lips or eyes? Eyes

70. Hugs or kisses? As many as I can get of both!

71. Shorter or taller? Taller than me please.

72. Older or younger? I never really thought about it, but my Glugster is younger than I am.

73. Romantic or spontaneous? Both if I can have it…

74. Nice stomach or nice arms? Definitely arms for me.

75. Tattoos or piercings? Either or neither. Doesn’t phase me at all.

76. Sensitive or loud? Hhmmm… I like someone who knows how to deal with what he’s feeling and can be comfortable in a social setting, so not a wallflower- but I don’t like the kind of guy who gets all overbearing and talkative…

77. Hook-up or relationship? I’ve done both and been happy with both, but I couldn’t be happier than I am now! My darling Glugster loves me and treats me like a queen!

78. Trouble maker or hesitant? Neither. I am impressed by someone who thinks first.

HAVE YOU EVER:

79. Kissed a stranger? Erm… if I say no, will you believe me?

80. Drank hard liquor? Never ever *she says, remembering the gin she put away on the weekend*

81. Lost glasses/contacts? Oh absolutely! This is the reason I have a collection of about 6 pairs of sunglasses that are all cheap!

82. Cried in front on someone? Many, many times… I loathe it- but when I get angry I cry. It makes me look weak.

83. Broken someone’s heart? Is it peculiar that I wish I could say a definite yes to this one?

84. Had your own heart broken? Sadly, more than once

85. Been arrested? Not me, but I had to fetch my knucklehead out of jail and watch as they fingerprinted him…

86. Turned someone down? Yup. More than once.

87. Cried when someone died? Oh yes. Always. Even if I don’t really know them.

88. Liked a friend that is a girl? You mean sexually…? No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself? Yes. I think I always have- I just didn’t realise I did.

90. Miracles? Yes. Hell, I’m getting married in just over 5 months!!!

91. Love at first sight? I didn’t used to- but I do now.

92. Heaven? Yes. In the biblical sense.

93. Santa Claus? Erm… can I say yes?

94. Kissing on the first date? Well, since I never actually had any dates, I’ll have to say no. *smirk*

95. Angels? Yes, again- as in the biblical descriptions.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? My darling Glugster!

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Nope. Its monogamy for me thanks.

98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever? I used to wonder about it- but yes, I believe it is- AFTER you’re a grown up who knows and likes him or herself, and this has nothing to do with age. And also only if both parties are prepared to change and make concessions for each other as they get older together.

99. What’s the one thing you cannot live without? I won’t tell you what my Glugster said… I will say… my Glugster and my knucklehead.

100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yes.

Now I dunno about the other people who’ve done this list, but mine only has 94 truths listed since numbers 22, 35, 42, 66, 67 & 68 are missing!

And if you’re reading it- consider yourself tagged!

And there’s not a lot I can do.

I’ve decided to go back on the pill.

I’m not ecstatic about it, but I will learn to live with it. I just can’t take the disappointment month after month.

Yes- even though I KNOW, I know, that there is no chance of my sweetheart and I having a baby without expensive, emotionally draining and time consuming medical intervention- I still hope, and I am still upset every time my period starts.

Since my Glugster and I started trying to have a baby of our own almost 2 years ago, there have been 15 babies born to friends inside my social circle.

We stopped “trying” about 6 months ago, and I mean “trying” as in no more ovulation timing, no more Pre-Seed, no more checking the ovulation microscope… and there’s still an HPT in my bedside drawer that seems to mock me every time I come across it. That’s going to be tossed too.

At the moment it’s as if everyone around me is pregnant! Like our trying to have a baby worked for everyone else. At the moment I have no less than 13 friends and a sister-in-law-to-be all having babies before the end of October this year!

There’s a new announcement almost every week!

One of my oldest friends is turning 40 this year, and she’s pregnant! It was a surprise for her and her hubby, and they’re very excited and they’re wonderful parents, but when I got her text message I swore till there was a little blue cloud around my head and I all but threw my phone!

And then I upset my darling Glugster by phoning him in tears to tell him it happened again! And I know I upset him when I tell him why I’m heartsore, because he feels powerless to do anything about why I am upset.

My hero can’t be my hero.

I think going back on the pill may help ease my personal disappointment every month because then there’s not even a reason to hope.

I dunno how long it will take to stop being upset over other people’s pregnancies and new babies. I dunno how long that “why can’t it be me” feeling will take to go away. I dunno if it will ever go away…

But at least I may be able to do something to put a stop to my own feelings of failure, to finally get rid of all expectations.